New Horizons in Chutzpa

A yeshiva bocher who is looking for a Shidduch writes the following in this week's Yated:

90% of us boys have rabbeim whom we speak to during the dating process. From the girls I have dated and hear about, it seems that only 10% speak with someone smarter than them to help make the right decisions (and parents don’t count).

[snip]

Recently, a major shadchan wrote an article stating that 80% of the time, it’s the girl who says no at an advanced stage because “it just didn’t click,” which is not a real reason that any rov would say is enough to break a potential shidduch.

So it looks like this bocher believes that marriage is properly a matter decided between a boy's rebbe and a girl's rebbe. Not only don't the parents have a say, neither do the potential chattan and kallah!

Rabbi Yitzchok Miller on Women's Identities

From the Reader's Write section of this week's Yated:

BAS PLONI L’PLONI

Dear Editor,
A sincere yasher koach to the Yated editors for producing a quality newspaper every
week.

I read with interest Sruli Gross’ explanation of the Chazal (Sotah 2a), “Bas ploni l’ploni,” to provide a mekor that a husband should be older than his wife. However, I beg to differ; I don’t think Chazal had this implication in mind. Why, then, does it say “bas ploni l’ploni” and not “plonis l’ben ploni”? Because in the signon of Chazal, a girl, especially an unmarried girl, is not given her own identity, but rather is referred to as bas ploni. The same Gemara teaches us that a bas kol proclaims, “Sodeh ploni l’ploni - The ownership of So-and-So’s field will be transferred to So-and-So.” The bas kol doesn’t say this field will become So-and-So’s. The field’s identity is defined by its owner; it is sodeh ploni. So too, an unmarried girl is described in Chazal as bas ploni, even if she is already born.

The Gemara in Pesachim (49a) gives the advice that “a man should strive to marry a bas talmid chochom and a father should marry his daughter to a talmid chochom. It doesn’t say that he should marry his daughter to a ben talmid chochom. This is because, as stated above, a girl’s identity is defined by her parents, whereas a boy has his own identity.

When Rivkah fulfilled the “test” that Eliezer created for her at the well, he asked her, “Bas me at - Whose daughter are you?” He did not ask, “Me at - Who are you?” True, he needed to ascertain if she was from Avrohom’s family or from Canaan. But just as she answered his question by stating not just her father’s name, but also her grandfather’s and great-grandmother’s (bas Besuel ben Nachor asher yalda lo Milkah), she would have done the same had she been asked, “Who are you?” Eliezer didn’t ask her this because this isn’t the derech haTorah; a girl is identified as being bas ploni.
[snip]

May we be zocheh to live our lives according to standards the Torah sets for us.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Yitzchok Miller
Chicago, IL

RCA statement on invalidating Israeli Conversions

The Rabbinical Council of America, having taken note of the recent ruling of the Bet Din Elyon (Rabbinic Court of Appeals) of Israel, nullifying certain conversions performed by the State Conversion Authority led by Rabbi Chaim Druckman, has today issued the following statement:

Having reviewed the ruling of the Bet Din Elyon in detail, and being fully mindful of the respect due the rulings of duly constituted rabbinical courts in their respective jurisdictions, the RCA finds it necessary to state for the record that in our view the ruling itself, as well as the language and tone thereof, are entirely beyond the pale of acceptable halachic practice, violate numerous Torah laws regarding converts and their families, create a massive desecration of God's name, insult outstanding rabbinic leaders and halachic scholars in Israel, and are a reprehensible cause of widespread conflict and animosity within the Jewish people in Israel and beyond. The RCA is appalled that such a ruling has been issued by that court.

Baruch sheptarani mei'onsho

Khal Yisrael was increased today by the addition of Ovadiya ben Avraham Avinu. May he proceed to Torah, Chuppah, and Maasim Tovim.

Tzaria/Metzorah thoughts

Last week's and this week's parshiot each deal with laws relating to the disease of tzaarat. A metzorah is expelled from the camp until his disease has receded, as determined by a cohen. Why was this task assigned to the cohanim? Some possible reasons:


1) The metzorah was expelled from the camp. One reason given was to give him a chance to contemplate his sin. One danger of unguided contemplation is that he might end up feeling alienated and hostile instead of repentant. Weekly visits by the cohen both provide an opportunity for spiritual guidance also reassure the metzorah that while they might be isolated, their welfare is of enough concern that someone with the status of a Cohen is obliged to personally look after them.

2) A Cohen is a person of great prestige. He may enter sections of the Beit Hamikdash closed to most people. Wherever he goes receives gifts (terumah, challah, etc.) from the common folk. Having to minister to the metzorah helps drive home the idea that with his privileges come responsibilities, even to the least among his people.

3) The talmud says that the causes of tzaarat were lashon hara (slander) and gavrah (arrogance or pride). As someone at the head of the religious hierarchy, a Cohen might have been especially at risk for these character flaws. Perhaps viewing the consequences helped the Cohen from actually committing the sin.

Tales of Chesed 1

I'm a reluctant BT - I became observant primarily under the influence of my wife. One of the things that won me over was the feeling that at least some Orthodox hashkafot had a better-than-average chance at creating mentches. For me, mentchlicheit is the prerequisite for frumkeit - you can't be a good Jew in my eyes without being a good person first. There are other hashkafot than this, as has become increasingly clear to me with time.

One of the main reasons we moved to my present town was the high degree of achdut among the Orthodox community. Shul bulletins routinely publicize other shul's events, many people are members of multiple shuls, most people eat over one another's houses. When we were first looking into the community, we were sitting in a realtor's office when a 16 year old boy came in. He had seen me at mincha, and since we were obviously looking over the town, he wanted to see if he could help - were we looking to stay over Shabbat, did we want to know about the town, whatever. Malka Esther said to me afterwards 'any town where they are raising the boys to be that helpful has got to be a good place to live.

So to help me get over my recent bout of negativity, I thought I would share some stories of chesed in my town. Here's the first:

D. had moved to town about a month ago. He was going to marry R. who has lived here for about a year. Neither of them had developed a lot of friends in town yet. D. & R.'s wedding was scheduled for a Thursday. That weekend was the afruf and wedding of the son of one of the town's biggest baalei tzedakah. The wedding on Thursday came off beautifully. A number of people who only knew D. casually not only showed up for the wedding, but were instrumental in making sure everything ran smoothly.

Friday night there was huge oneg shabbat in honor of one the visitors in town for the big wedding. He was a very well known Israeli rabbi, and literally dozens of people showed up for the oneg. The room was packed, and nowhere more so than the head table. Not only were the speaker and the wedding party there, but so were the rabbis of two synagogues, the head of the local kollel, and other prestigious out of town guests. While we were waiting for things to begin, in walks D. The host of the oneg sees D., makes his way to him through the crowd, gets a rousing chorus of "Od Yishama" started, and then brings D. to the head table, where everybody scrunches over to make space for the new chatan. Personally, I had never seen a bridegroom treated that way other than at his own sheva brachot. Here at an event for someone else entirely, someone made sure that the chatan was made to feel like a king, despite being new in town.

Kosher Drama in Miami

Get the full story by clicking on the title of this post.

Excerpts:

On March 3, 2008, representatives of Kosher Miami received information from a private investigator (who would not disclose who he was working for), that he had surveillance of activity that allegedly showed that an employee of Fu Xing Chinese restaurant was buying non-kosher chicken and bringing it into the restaurant.

Immediately after leaving the office of the private investigator, the delegation of Rabbonim went to Fu Xing. They immediately questioned the employee whom they saw in the pictures, and the employee ran away on foot before answering any questions. The Rabbonim went to the parking lot in the back of the restaurant, found the employees car, and were able to see chicken in a bag inside the automobile.

The restaurant owners claimed that the employee must have been stealing chicken from the restaurant.

As a precautionary measure, the Rabbonim asked the restaurant patrons to leave immediately, and suspended the hashgacha of the restaurant pending further investigation.

...

Kosher Miami representatives went with the pictures to the non-kosher meat supply house where the purchases were allegedly made, and asked the management and staff if they recognized the Fu Xing employee as someone who shopped at the supply house. No one was able to recognize him.

It has been reported to Kosher Miami by reliable sources that the private investigator was hired by a competing Chinese restaurant. Considering this, and considering the results of the investigation, Kosher Miami at this time does not believe that the allegations are true, but the investigation is still ongoing.

Bookish thoughts

If I ever do write this, I have no idea if it will be a Purim torah essay or an entire book, but I call dibs on the title What color is your Kool-Aid? - A guide for the new BT

The notebooks of Latzar Long

Click on the title for the original.

What is the halacha? Again and again and again - what is the halacha? Shun wishful thinking, ignore obscure cabala, forget 'a good segula', avoid blogs, care not what the minhag Yerushalmi is, never mind the unguessable future 'daas toirah' - what is the halacha , and is it d'oraita, d'rabbanan or minhag? You pilot always towards Olam Haba; halacha is your only chance. What is the halacha?

The Long Non-Vidui

This may be humor (or at least irony) but it certainly isn't simcha.
So I'm publishing it on erev Rosh Chodosh Adar, which is to be celebrated this year as a Yom Kippur katan.

Not everything that is thought should be spoken aloud
Not everything that is spoken should be written down
Not everything that is written should be published
Not everything that is published should be read
Not everything that is read should be believed
Not everything that is believed should be acted upon
Not everything that is acted upon should be admitted to aloud

If we perform this whole cycle once, let us lather, rinse, and repeat

Buddhism and Avoda Zara

From a recent Ask the Rabbi in the Jerusalem Post. The rabbi in question is Rabbi Chaim Brovender, president of the ATID Foundation (www.atid.org) and Rosh Yeshiva of Web Yeshiva.

Q: I was recently on a business trip, and while I found the city to be very nice etc., I am a bit concerned. I visited an Asian restaurant, not owned by Jews, (Under the local Rabbis) There seemed to be active idolatry taking place. There was a statue of Buddha, where they had placed a large bowl of oranges and burning incense right in the entrance to the place. At the end of the meal I was served oranges (Possibly ones that were previously in front of Buddha) Is this place considered a "Bais Avodah Zorah" ? And can a Jew eat there?

A: Avoda Zara should certainly be avoided. For that reason going into a Catholic church (perhaps real idolatry) is problematic. However,Buddism is different. There the reference is to a great religious teacher called "the enlightened one". It is hard to imagine why this might be called Avoda Zara.

If you ate an orange, I do not Imagine that Avoda Zara was the problem.

Where is Ashai-Ray's commentary ?

An excerpt from the complete bible translation into pig latin:

1:1 In-ay e-thay eginning-bay Od-gay eated-cray e-thay eaven-hay
and-ay e-thay earth-ay.
1:2 And-ay e-thay earth-ay as-way ithout-way orm-fay, and-ay
oid-vay; and-ay arkness-day as-way upon-ay e-thay ace-fay of-ay
e-thay eep-day. And-ay e-thay Irit-spay of-ay Od-gay oved-may
upon-ay e-thay ace-fay of-ay e-thay aters-way.
1:3 And-ay Od-gay aid-say, Et-lay ere-thay e-bay ight-lay: and-ay
ere-thay as-way ight-lay.
1:4 And-ay Od-gay aw-say e-thay ight-lay, at-thay it-ay as-way
ood-gay: and-ay Od-gay ivided-day e-thay ight-lay om-fray e-thay
arkness-day.
1:5 And-ay Od-gay alled-cay e-thay ight-lay Ay-day, and-ay e-thay
arkness-day e-hay alled-cay Ight-nay. And-ay e-thay evening-ay
and-ay e-thay orning-may ere-way e-thay irst-fay ay-day.

A quick thought about Rabbi Akiva

It is out of season I know, but it occurred to me that 1000 pairs (couples?) of students died for each additional year Rabbi Akiva stayed away after from Rachel after he became a Talmid Chacham.

First BeyondBT post

My first post to BeyondBT is up. I hope people like it.

When Church and State mix

From the ever useful Religion Clause comes an account of some schools in England who are trying to supply halal meat to their Muslim students:

Two local Councils in Britain find themselves in the middle of a dispute in the Islamic community over which bodies are the appropriate certifiers of Halal meat. Schools in the localities have halal meat on their lunch menus, but have recently changed their meat supplier.

This Is Lancashire yesterday reported that the Lancashire Council of Mosques has urged parents to have their children select vegetarian options or take their own lunches until the controversy is resolved. The new supplier gets its meat from New Zealand, and the meat is certified by the non-profit Halal Food Authority.

Salim Mulla, secretary of the Lancashire Council of Mosques, says they want the meat certified instead by the Halal Monitoring Committee. Lancashire County Council has replaced meat with an alternative option until the situation is resolved, while Blackburn with Darwen Borough Council is keeping halal meat on the menu, but is meeting with mosque council leaders to resolve any problems.


Couldn't you just see this happening if US public schools tried to supply kosher lunches? You just know they'd buy Hebrew National and other Triangle K products, along with Tablet K cheese. And then the board would be so bewildered at the outrage ....

On post-death baptism by Mormons

Rescuing this from an older source and posting it in response to a friend's post:

According to Mormon theology, all post-death baptism offers is a chance for the deceased person to join the Mormon religion. Since they think everyone else is in hell, they naturally assume everyone accepts. Here's how I picture it.

It is a lovely Shabbat evening in heaven. (It is always Shabbat there). Mr and Mrs Levy and their children have just finished singing Shalom Aleichem when there is a knock at the door. Mr Levy opens it and an angel is standing there, looking uncomfortable.

Mr. Levy smiles. "We were just singing to welcome you. What a pleasant surprise! What a great timing!".

The angel squirms. "Actually, Mr. Levy, I'm just here to ask you if you want to become a Mormon." Mr Levy roars with laughter, and says "No thanks. Are you sure you don't have time for some kugel? In heaven there is always time for kugel!"

The angel enters, says amen to the kiddush, winds up staying for the full meal, and then sadly departs to ask the next person if they want to convert.

Never complain about a 3 day chag again

Taken out of context from religion clause:

From November through February, traditional Hopis are prohibited from engaging in government or significant non-religious pursuits.

Another reason to want to be Sephardi

I so dislike the difficulties caused by the Ashkenazi rules about dairy and meat equipment. Bad enough to need 4 sets of pots, but 6 is really ridiculous. It is interesting to me that in this issue they don't cite Ashkenazi practice. Although the list in question is Sephardi, they usually mention Askhenazic custom when it differs.


The Rabbi Jacob S. Kassin Memorial Halacha Series
Authored by Rabbi Eli J. Mansour (5/8/2007)

To dedicate Daily Halacha for a day please click here. Thank you.
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Description: Is It Permissible to Use A Meat Pot To Cook A Parve Item That Will Be Mixed With A Dairy Item


Is it permissible to cook rice, or some other parve food, in a pot that had been used for meat, and then eat the parve food with milk or another dairy product? We refer, of course, to a case where the pot is clean and does not contain any actual particles of meat on its surface. Does the fact that the pot had been used for meat render it forbidden to use the food cooked in that pot with dairy foods? (This question arises with regard to the traditional "M'gedra" (rice and lentils) which is commonly eaten with yoghurt.)

There is a Halachic concept discussed in the Yoreh Dei'a section of Shulchan Aruch called "Notein Ta'am Bar Notein Ta'am Le'heteira." This term refers to a case like the one described above, of a clean pot that does not contain any meat, but does contain the taste of meat within its walls. When food is cooked in that pot, the taste embedded within the walls now enters the cooked food, and we refer to this "second degree taste" as "Notein Ta'am Bar Notein Ta'am." According to Halacha, if the food cooked in the pot is parve, and thus no violation occurs when it is cooked in the pot (as opposed to a case of dairy food cooked in a meat pot), the food remains parve and may be eaten together with milk. Since the parve food contains only a "Notein Ta'am Bar Notein Ta'am," and not the original taste of meat, it retains its parve status, and one may eat it with milk or other dairy products.

The question then becomes whether or not one may prepare a parve food in a meat pot with the initial intention of eating it with dairy foods. Thus far we have established that a parve food that had been prepared in a meat pot may be used with dairy products. But does this Halacha apply only if this occurred inadvertently, or even "Le'chatechila" (optimally)?

The Shulchan Aruch rules that one may use the parve food with dairy foods only "Be'di'avad" (after the fact, if it was mistakenly prepared in a meat pot). However, in "Bedek Ha'bayit," revisions to the "Beit Yosef" that Maran (author of the Shulchan Aruch) published after writing the Shulchan Aruch, he cites the position of Rabbenu Yerucham (Provence-Spain, 1280-1350) who allowed cooking parve food in a meat pot even with the initial intention of using it with dairy products. This is, indeed, the ruling of Chacham Ovadia Yosef, in his work Yabia Omer. Rabbi Shlomo Amar (current Sephardic Chief Rabbi of the State of Israel) likewise follows this position in his work of responsa, and Chacham Ovadia, in an introduction he wrote to Rabbi Amar's work, commends Rabbi Amar for his courage in publishing this lenient position.

It should be noted that this Halacha applies equally in the reverse case, of a parve food prepared in a dairy pot that one wishes to eat with meat. One may cook a parve food in a dairy pot even with the initial intention of eating it together with meat.

Furthermore, this Halacha applies regardless of whether or not the pot had been used with meat or milk within the previous twenty-four hours. Although regarding many Halachot we distinguish between utensils that had been used for meat or milk within the last twenty-four hours and those that have not, with respect to this Halacha no such distinction is made.

Summary: It is permissible to cook a parve food in a meat pot and then eat it with dairy foods, or to cook a parve food in a dairy pot and then eat it with meat, provided that the pot is clean. One may cook the parve food in a meat pot even with the initial intention of eating it with dairy foods, and vice versa. This applies regardless of whether or not the pot had been used with meat or dairy foods within the previous twenty-four hours.

See Halichot Olam, Helek 7, Page 74.

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Difficult Halachic problems

Over Pesach I was thinking about the places where halacha and my ethical intuitions clash - not in big abstract ways like the Amalekite baby problem, not in controversial ways like homosexuality issues, but the day to day problems that both halacha and I regard as settled, but where each of us have settled on contradictory answers.

One of the reasons I call myself 'traditionally observant' is that I tend (at least in the abstract) to act according to what the halacha dictates, even as I strongly feel I am doing the wrong thing. I don't have the ability to do polls, so here are some hand made ones:

1) Your cat is chas v'shalom hit by a car on Shabbat and needs the attention of a vet. None live within walking distance. Do you
a) drive your cat to the vet/phone the vet yourself
b) ask a non-Jewish neighbor to drive your cat to the vet/phone the vet
i) and stay behind yourself/don't talk with the vet
ii) and get in the back seat with the cat/talk once the call is in progress
c) stay beside your cat and comfort it as it dies
d) euthanize your cat to put it out of its pain

For the record I think 1.b.i is just over the border of not being defensible within halacha, 1.c is plainly ok, and all the others are plainly against halacha.

2)Imagine (may it not happen for 120 years) you are at the funeral of one of your in-laws and your spouse is completely bereft. They really need a hug or some other form of non-sexual physical support. Unfortunately, the niddah laws completely prohibit this at the moment. You don't think they will kill themselves without comfort, but at the moment they are unable to function except to wail their grief and beg for support. Do you
a) comfort your spouse physically,
b) abandon them for a moment to find a friend who can provide support
c) provide verbal comfort alone, while frantically looking for someone who can halachically touch them?

Nightmare 2

In Nightmare 1 I described my fear that in some hashgachot within Judaism the average person isn't expected to be a moral agent at all - all moral decisions are deferred to the gedolim, and a person's free will is exercised by choosing to follow their decisions.

I encountered that thinking again this week, in a discussion with a chassidic friend in Brooklyn. I was describing to him how my wife treats the lottery as a game. She buys one ticket per lottery if she buys one at all. "If Hashem wants me to win, then one is enough; if he doesn't want me to win then buying lots won't help." Then she spends hours plotting how to use her winnings, in great detail. Usually about 80% goes to some form of tzedakah - building a new women's mikveh at one end of time, buying out her financially strapped parents' mortgage, starting a trust fund for Mazon, etc.

My friend said that if he won the lottery he would put it all in a trust fund and sign it over to his rebbe, then go back to his normal life. He quoted some mussar that if Hashem makes you wealthy the reason is Hashem wants you to redistribute it properly.

I was appalled by this answer. If Hashem wanted his rebbe to have the burden of redistributing the wealth, Hashem would have his rebbe win the lottery! This attitude seemed gross ingratitude on my friend's part. An analogy would be if the young shepard David, having been offered the kingship, abdicated in favor of Shmuel.
After all, a navi would do a much better job ruling Israel as Hashem wished than David could hope to. So let Shmuel rule and David be a shepherd!

Thoughts? When Hashem sends us tests, is it our job to struggle with them, or to pass them along to people more likely to pass?